I've not been out for what seems like ages and tonight, I am going out with the (boozy) girls. I thought I would always dread these nights now, or at least not enjoy them. I think I was wrong.
Friday morning. Wake up and hope not too hungover for day off. Go to gym and worry about eating pattern all day as going to be drinking lots tonight and need to move the calorie allocation around a little. End up over-restricting and bingeing. Stop this early enough so doesn't spoil going out.
The girls are all quite boozy so that's good. I will be able to have lots to drink and if anything daft happens to me (not through any fault of my own) it will just be 'such a laugh'.
Around 4pm declare myself off duty for home life and family affairs. OH and kids can fend for each other or themselves: I don't really care. It's my deserved night out and I'm making the most of it.
I pour a glass of wine as begin to get ready. This is a long drawn out process. The longer it takes, the more I drink, the more I drink, the longer it takes. I have to keep the bottle kind of out of sight, do not want OH seeing I've almost had the whole bottle before I leave. Try to persuade him to have a small glass so at least there will be some doubt about my consumption.
It seems vitally important that everything is just so: my hair, my fake tan, my make up, the correct things in my handbag.
I make plans for my return worse the wear. I only take cash and a single bank card, no purse with me (less to lose). I take my door key off my bunch and take it only (fewer to get confused over at door). Ensure have more than enough money as will be in no state to know if I get shortchanged at bar or overcharged by taxi driver. If I'm not too bad I would give him a huge tip because I would find him so amusing and chatty.
The next day I am hungover (understatement). The texts would fly between us girls about how fab the night was, asking 'what did I do?', 'Did you see it when..', 'I can't believe I did that'.
When asked by OH I would say I'd enjoyed catching up with the girls again. He would continue to ask about their news'
What, her new job? Oh I forgot to ask
Did she sell her house? I don't know, she did mention something about it though
Does she know our neighbour who works there too? Forgot to ask
does she like her new car? No idea
and so on.....
A night wasted ( in all manner of means). Nothing to show for the time or money spent. Saturday ruined.
I have not seen these girls for ages and I'm really looking forward to going out. I went shopping this week while feeling fat and miserable yet had one of those shopping trips where things fit, they have your size, it comes in petite, and yes, it's in the sale! I bought a royal blue dress which is amazingly flattering and made me feel good about myself. It will go with my tan bag and tan sandals (I don't ever have a 'tan' to speak of though).
I'm excited to be going to a new restaurant, to choose from the menu. I'm excited to hear their news: one has a new job, one has gone self employed, one is always on the look out for a boyfriend and the other is nuts, in a harmless way. We are a great mixture of professional and nots, married and nots, kids and nots and the four of us do have such a laugh. One of them is my walk and talk friend who knows I have still given up wine and now admires me for it. Another knows I have stopped and agrees it's a good thing and admits she has cut down a lot too.
I am making dinner in advance for my OH and kids. I will wear my feel good dress and whisk myself there in my car. I will come home at a sensible hour, high on laughter and girly feel good vibes and be able to take my kids to their parties tomorrow without complaint, tiredness, nausea or a headache. I will relate our many conversations to OH laughing, saying 'you had to be there' until he is bored of hearing the news!
I knew I would learn to cope with socialising without drinking. I never believed it could be enjoyable too.