Friday 13 March 2015

My New Treat

Definition. Treat (n.) 'something special that gives someone pleasure'.

Then:

My treat was undoubtedly wine, more wine, and even some more wine if there was an occasion. Sometimes a meal was thrown in to make it look half way respectable but this was not obligatory. The problem was that 'something special' implies something that is not usual nor routine and my wine drinking had become both. It was no longer a treat, it was a necessity, and later a burden.

And Then:

I resurrected my love of cake, chocolate and biscuits and these were my new treats. Sweet treats in the evenings, desserts in restaurants and the odd binge on excessive chocolate just to show the world who was boss after a bad day. But then these foods became habitual, then regular until recently when my diet (as in what I was eating, certainly not a diet in the weight reducing sense) became based around these foods. Far from being a treat they were sabotaging my new booze free life. My mood went down as my weight went up and the 'fits me now' part of my wardrobe rapidly diminished.

I've since learnt that the addiction to alcohol may have gone but the addictive behaviour remains. All I need is to become addicted to something that is good for me. Suggestions welcome.

Now: 

Having had a successful week void of sugar and refined carbs I needed a treat. Wine and chocolate were out. I was loathe to buy clothes in the next size up.
I bought daffodils.
Not one bunch but three.
They fulfil the requirements of a treat: I don't usually buy flowers, viewing them as something else I must look after and clear up after. They are a  treat as they give me pleasure looking at their smiley heads cuddled together. I can imagine them giggling as I took the photo. They make me feel positive and optimistic. They are a bright sign that winter is ending.

I wonder what would happen if I bought flowers every week? Then twice a week. Then every day. What if I became addicted to having flowers around my home? What then?

9 comments :

  1. I'm going to buy myself an expensive scented candle at the end of the month. I always want to buy one but say to myself 'No, they're too expensive' and then proceed to spend double the amount on booze and cigs. This month, I can comfortably afford one. They, amongst other things, are going to become one of my treats (and they take ages to burn down so I won't be treating myself to one of these every week!) I also want new perfume. And lipstick. And ear-rings...It's lovely knowing that these treats are now within my reach. Very freeing.

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  2. I buy myself flowers every time I go to the grocery store. Thats a gift to myself and I've continued to do so ever since! It perks me up :)

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  4. flowers make you happy, please buy them every day!

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    1. Great comments! Will def. buy more flowers and be nice to myself. As Anon says above about the cost; I would buy these things for a friend in an instant but rarely for myself without feeling guilty or non deserving. No more!

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  6. Hi Rachel! I love your blog and have just finished your book which has been a huge help to me. I quit drinking 19 days ago, after drinking at least a bottle a day for 20 years without anyone seeming to notice (!). I'd love you to look at my blog if you have a moment. It's www.mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com and thanks for everything.

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    1. HI Sobermummy, Thanks for saying hi. Just been to your blog and will add it to those I keep up with. We all sound so very similar it's a bit spooky!! x

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