In the same way that drinking to excess regularly is a self perpetuating process, I have discovered that staying sober is exactly the same: the longer you don't drink, the harder it is to drink. This is good because it means in weak moments it is increasingly difficult to action any fleeting temptation.
With time we develop an in-built safety mechanism.
My extrapolations of 'What ifs' and 'How would I manage that' have come thick and fast since I first thought of them. So many difficulties and obstacles to drinking now prevail in my life.
How would I explain to my children whom I have reassured I don't drink?
How would I cope with the school disco runs next Friday night?
How would I stay responsible for my son's first weekend away from home? What if I needed to collect him early, meaning late at night?
I would have to restart taxi-ing to and from nights out, at great expense and some inconvenience
Would I lose respect from all those I have oh-so-casually told that I don't drink?
What about my anti-depressants which only work in a booze free body?
What about my daily calorie balance? I'd have to seriously start exercising again, which for some time I have been loathe to do (and have decided it's ok not to bother).
How would I continue to fit all my projects into my life if I devoted any time to drinking?
What if one or once really wasn't enough? What if I was back to square one, adding my advice to that of others who say 'Don't do it, I wish I hadn't'.
Of course I would. All these things would happen to me- I'm no different to anyone else who has tried it and my conclusion would be the same. Rue and regret.
The thought of diverting my life to unravel and undo all that I have changed fills me with dread, embarrassment and a true sense of unmanagability.
I'm glad I have learnt so much from my mind wobble without having to play it out in real life.
I will not be taking that road.
Ooo I love this Rachel. The longer you don't drink the harder it IS to drink!! Aha moment....it's soo true. I really cannot see me drinking anymore, and that's just a miracle.
ReplyDeleteOoo I love this Rachel. The longer you don't drink the harder it IS to drink!! Aha moment....it's soo true. I really cannot see me drinking anymore, and that's just a miracle.
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteI am going to do this exercise with my life.
It's a very powerful message!
Thank you again!
Wendy
Great post Rachel. I am going to try this exercise, I think it will really help. Thanks again. A x
ReplyDeleteYou are probably right: the longer you don't drink, the harder it is to drink. But for me, the longer I am without a drink, the harder it gets not to drink. I cannot make it to a one moth mark.
ReplyDeleteI will try the exercise. It is a good one.