Saturday, 3 October 2015

How DOES she do it?

I read the book 'I don't know how she does it' by Allison Pearson several years ago. It was almost mandatory reading for my peer group in our have-baby-and-return-to-work-as-if-nothing-has-changed years. We hoped to find out the secret to having it all; gliding through life like a swan while paddling like a duck underneath the surface.

There was no secret to be found in the book. It merely confirmed what we thought; multi-tasking, cutting corners, delegating and being forever frazzled were to be offset by a well deserved glass of chardonnay at wine o'clock.

Excellent. I was definitely 'normal' and coping the same way as everyone else. Nonetheless, I was disappointed to find there was no magic way to suddenly have it all and manage it all. Until now.

Recently I've had a lot going on. I've reassessed my work life balance and reduced the time I spend in my day job to set up a new business where I will work for myself. It's busy, exciting and a very steep learning curve as my business and marketing strategy is all about trial and error.

So last week I met a friend in the pub for a catch up and filled her in on my new venture. Mid sentence she interrupted me.

'Do you ever sleep?'

I stopped, puzzled, not quite seeing the relevance of this question until she continued:

 'How can you possibly do all those things at once?'
because I don't drink
'Whatever you've got, I need to get some too'
Wrong. What you need is what I've NOT got.  

I've not got a large glass of wine in front of me.

So now I do know 'how she can do it'. She needs to realise that wine robs you of time, energy and motivation and makes life more difficult. The solution is not more wine, it is no wine. And by taking that brave step she will release the handbrake and allow life to flow without hindrance.


  1. Yes, it does!
    And at my age, I need all the energy I can get!

  2. I think there is a lot of truth to this, but I also think that sometimes we are inclined to do too much.

    Personally, I work as an engineer, I have 2 kids, I teach yoga 3-4 hours a week, I practice yoga every day, I like to cook, I am in the midst of anothe 200 hour teacher training.

    And I started looking at subbing at another studio.

    But, I'm tired. Honestly, I can do all this, but I am beginning to question why I want to. Did I quit drinking just to fill my life with other business?
    Am I trying to avoid just being?

    So I've stepped back and am staying no for October. I am going to give myself a chance to see if my enthusiasm is real, or if I am trying to prove to myself that I can still do everything.



  3. Hi Rachel,
    Over-scheduling. Thinking being busy is being wanted or successful. It's not.
    Just like we have an abundance of food and the challenge is to NOT eat it all - it is the same with showing restraint and calm and not over-seeking and over-striving.
    There is such power and peace in being rested, and silent and enjoying the simple.
    I am in the middle of selling down a business and literally getting rid of everything. We don't need much outside of good health, some online income (lol!!) and a nice beach shack. So that's all we are keeping. No SUV, no private schools, no eating out for Instagram.
    Simple, uncluttered, unpretentious and authentic.
    PS. good luck with your new venture!


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